Teacups and Snowflakes

I don’t really like labels, but everyone is guilty of using them from time to time. There is some really poor behaviour in the world right now, and it’s embarrassing.

I realized today that we are applying some labels to the wrong people; those who are flailing about calling responsible and empathetic people “sheeple” and other equally derogatory terms, are themselves the one guilty of being fragile little teacups.

The term “snowflake” has been derogatorily applied to millennials. That’s a little unfair considering the world they are faced with. They were released into a world with skyrocketing housing and living costs without equally rising incomes, outsourcing, job losses created by increasing automation ad self service, online services destroying opportunities. And those farther along and having had opportunities that they didn’t have the gall to say “work harder and maybe you will makes something of yourself“. And let’s not even get into the environmental crises they are being handed.

They have a right to be frustrated.

Snowflake – a person with an inflated sense of uniqueness, an unwarranted sense of entitlement, or are overly-emotional, easily offended, and unable to deal with opposing opinions.

I counter that science deniers, anti-vaxxers, anti-maskers, and those raging lunacy about pandemic hoaxes are themselves the snowflakes.

These are the willfully ignorant people posting drivel about the flu being worse than COVID and citing YouTube and extreme right-wing “news” sources that are filled with rumours and misinformation designed to lock these same people into a spiral of increasingly fear-induced bunker mentality.

Caution is not fear.

Empathy is not fear.

Responsibility is not fear.

Social consciousness is not fear.

Yelling and screaming that wearing a mask is somehow an infringement on personal freedoms…that is the face of fear.

How is it such a debilitating inconvenience to put a small, layered, piece of cloth over one’s nose and mouth?

How does that drive some people to such irrational idiocy and frothing anger?

How does something so incredibly inconsequential in the grand scheme of things happening in the world bring about such furious outbursts?

How do those having the apoplectic fits think it an appropriate response?

Tantrums.

That’s what they are having.

Adult tantrums.

And they look ridiculous to the rest of us when they have them.

Life is about how hard you can get hit and still keep getting back up. We all get knocked down sometimes, but clearly there are some who get knocked down and crumble into a blathering ball of obscenities and rage at the slightest insult to their way of thinking. They lash out like two year-old children having a paroxysm because their favourite flavour of ice cream wasn’t available today. These people act like a face mask and some social distancing, the inconvenience of staying home, of temporarily closing some less than necessary things in our lives, is the end of the world as we know it.

Yes, it’s shitty. Yes, some people will lose their jobs, their businesses. That really sucks. It really, really, sucks. Lives can be rebuilt…but we can’t bring the dead back to life. And saying that people’s lives matter less than a business, that’s a slippery slope of questionable ethics and shaky moral ground.

“These” are the sensitive people among us.

“These” are the thin-skinned, the temperamentally touchy. They fly off the handle over the wrong things.

These are the china-dolls, easily chipped and cracked when the tiniest criticism, annoyance, irritation, or disruption to what they feel they deserve, are owed, are entitled to, sends them into a tailspin punctuated by vicious attacks on anyone who sees the world in a different light, in a rational light.

Out of fear.

I think that there is something missing deep inside such people. They lack empathy for people around them; they care nothing for people not somehow directly connected to their lives.

I honestly don’t understand such a lack of concern for others. It’s a narcissistic view of the world; to care so little for the well-being of others, to willfully put others at risk with a lack of regard, a lack of social consideration.

I truly think fear plays a part in it.

Fear of a loss of control? Fear of losing some part of an identity? Fear for things one cannot directly see or touch? Fear of having to rely on others? Fear of having to acknowledge that their thinking might be wrong? Fear of change?

I’m not entirely sure, it could be any, all, or a combination of those. But there is definitely some measure of fear at the core of it. Fear can lead to irrational behaviour, and irrational behaviour is endangering, of oneself and of others.

I stopped in somewhere to make a purchase today. Everyone was wearing a mask, it’s finally mandatory in all public indoor spaces, and everyone was respecting space.

Well, most everyone.

There was this one woman who very purposefully walked along the line of people standing apart waiting to reach the teller to pay. She had an air about her…a bit of “Just go ahead and say something to me, I dare you…”. She stopped beside someone, and then stepped directly across in front of him and stood there, inches away from him, looking at an item on a shelf. He looked uncomfortable but was unwilling to engage in an altercation. Then she did the same behind him and in front of the next person, and then in between the next and myself.

Part of me wanted to say something, but I think each of us recognized that she bore all of the appearances of someone actively looking for a fight, to make some irrational point.

There is no point in trying to explain to someone like that just how uncomfortable she is making others, because she knew, and she was clearly trying, with very obvious intent, to do just that.

No one afforded her the opportunity for the fight she seemed to be seeking.

Fear and a fixed mindset.

These are the snowflakes, the fragile little teacups, the china-dolls among us, the ones that cry foul when asked to behave in a socially responsible manner, but won’t, and then scream profanity when, because of their own poor behaviours, we see increased transmission rates and increased restrictions result in an attempt to stem the exponential growth rates.

It’s on them, but they are too willfully blind to see it; either unconcerned with or just ignorant of the science behind the measures.

I’ve always enjoyed a good debate, a thoughtful exchange of opinions based on factual information, but we seem to have lost that ability. We encounter a different opinion and we lash out like children. We can’t concede that our opinions could be misplaced or based on poor or incomplete information, so we dig in and start calling our opposition names.

Socrates was misattributed with saying “When the debate is lost, slander becomes the tool of the loser” Regardless of who said it, the sentiment stands. Instead of admitting that our thinking may be flawed or our knowledge incomplete, instead of conceding that there may be no harm in adopting a behaviour that “could” have a benefit, instead of quoting outdated information that was (and still is) based on scientific consensus arising from the best information at any moment in time, and which can (and will be) outdated at some point, leading to directional changes, we cling to the information that best suits our frame of mind and reject all else out of selfish belief that we simply cannot be wrong.

We can be wrong. We are often wrong. Every single one of us has been wrong and will be wrong again. And again after that. Being wrong isn’t the end of the world; admitting when we are wrong and altering our thinking with new information means we are learning. I wish some people would be open to learning, but too many people feel they have already learned all they need to learn.

The best we can do is to try to be thoughtful, kind, and considerate of others.

That really isn’t all that hard to do.