It’s been a bit of a frustrating year. The thing that connects me to my work is the people who work directly with the fish. I’ve been a teacher to many, a fish health biologist supporting the work they do through education, hands to help, an ear to listen. I’ve spent so many years building relationships based on mutual respect for what we all do and those relationships need cultivating on a. regular basis to keep them strong. And then, last year, the new budget came down and travel restrictions were slammed on everyone in an equal and inequitable manner. More than half my budget was slated for my team to travel and provide assistance and support and training. And that went “poof”.
A whopping 75% gone in an instant.
I was in the north when the hammer came down; a bit awkward to be on travel status when travel was basically canned. So when I came back and realized how little funds were remaining for the team to travel, I chained myself to my desk and gave it all to them.
And I was miserable. I’d lost my North Star…my personal purpose for working in the organization I do. In no way can I ever be a person who resides solely in an office, stuck behind a computer. I’d die inside if I wasn’t able to continue connecting with the people who expend so much of their energy doing the most important work. They are the reason I came to the organization and they are the people I work for.
A little over a week ago, a week before end of fiscal, it became apparent that there were some who had a surplus of travel dollars unspent and I picked the lock to my office cage and bolted for the Island to reconnect with a number of sites and the people who keep them running. And it gave me a breath of life that I desperately needed.
A mid-morning ferry to avoid overtime and to keep the meal expenses down, a stop in Qualicum to spend some time at one site, then a short drive up Island to spend a few hours at another talking about retrofits and biosecurity, before spending a night in Courtenay.
Day two and a morning spent at a facility just out of town where I met a lot of new staff and had an unexpected encounter that was probably the highlight of the trip. As a staff member was walking me around the site and showing me what was new, introducing me to some of the new staff, I looked across a pond of chum fry and noticed a fellow crossing the walkway between the concrete channels and asked “Who’s that?”
“Oh, that’s Scotty”
“What’s his last name?”
“Leonard”
“Did he go to VIU?”
“No, pretty sure he didn’t.”
“Are you sure?”
Jimbo yells out …“Hey, Scotty! Did you go to VIU?”
The fellow looked over but couldn’t hear over the water and came closer. Jimbo repeated the question.
The fellow opened his mouth and started to speak…then his eyes landed on mine and he stood up straight as an arrow and exclaimed “AS I STAND HERE!!!! DR. ACKERMAN!!!” and came rushing over to shake my hand.
He was a student of mine when I taught at Malaspina ….. in 2004. He’d been an interesting student and I’d always wondered what had become of him. No lie, I’d actually just been thinking about him the week before. Jimbo eventually abandoned us and we spent 30-40 minutes catching up. He said some lovely things to me, not the least of which was an expression of gratitude for always being there for him and for always being willing to help nudge him along in the right direction.
When I lost the position to someone farther along in their career, he’d been so upset that he’d emailed me indicating he’d wanted to start a petition to keep me. I’d been touched, but also explained that there had never been a guarantee I’d win the process and that the fellow who’d won it deserved it and had an excellent reputation. He was just that much further along and had more credentials in his pocket than I did at the time. But it was not something that I forgot, that I’d played an important role in his time at school. And it touched me to hear that he still felt that way, all these years later.
When you are struggling with your work life and wondering at your impact on anything, well, let’s just say that reconnecting with him had a big impact on my happiness for the rest of the week.
I spent a bit of time talking with the manager and another biologist and providing some thoughts and advice on how to proceed on some work planned for the fall before heading back out on the road and heading for Campbell River, and a facility just out of town, for the afternoon. Another solid few hours reconnecting with staff and talking through some topics of relevance before heading for my hotel to change and go for a run along the waterfront on a fabulous afternoon.
However, morning did not dawn as nice. The wind was howling across my hotel window and the rain was pelting down. In the courtyard outside the breakfast area, most of the sun-umbrellas were pulled out of the tables and scattered around the space, upside down and gathering rainwater.
Day three was a drive into and out of a site on the outer coast. It’s at least partly a logging road, and I know the road well, and I also know it’s often not great when the rain has been falling. It’s mostly paved, but has a significant section of gravel, and that’s the crappy bit. On the upside, the rain fills the potholes and they show up better so I usually see them with enough warning to slow down and/or avoid them. As I was just about to leave I received a text from someone letting me know they’d just driven in to work and that the road wasn’t “Too-too bad”. I interpreted that as ….also not fabulous.
Honestly, it wasn’t that bad, I’ve driven it when it’s been way worse.
I was surprised when I walked in and found the manager at his desk, he was supposed to be on days-off. I’d poked at him over email a few days earlier when he’d indicated he wouldn’t be there when I came out, … again. He’d decided to work his first day off to be there when I came out and I appreciated it. I had an awesome visit with the staff. We talked about a dozen topics and I loved some of the questions they’d stacked up for me 🙂 A site walkabout, lots of things to see and discuss. I’ve worked with the site for over ten years and I didn’t get here at all last year; it was so valuable to have the opportunity to reconnect again. The manager left mid-afternoon and I spent much longer at the site than I’d intended; someone and I had a lot to catch up on. Eventually I called it a day because I really did want to get clear of the road by dark, and I had to get back down the Island to Courtenay for the night.
A night in Courtenay, and then a drive down to Qualicum to connect in person with someone who drove over from Port Alberni to meet up with me for breakfast….for three hours. It was perfect and I’d have been happy if we’d been able to continue for the rest of the day. But it was the Thursday before a long weekend and I had a ferry to catch to be home in time to spend a weekend away. I couldn’t afford to miss that boat.
I made the 3:20 ferry home….no overtime again, and the travel claim kept to a minimum as I’d be home for dinner. All in all an excellent four days on the road reconnecting with the people I work to support, and an unexpected happy moment of reconnecting with a student from a career path that seems like a lifetime ago. The trip gave me some air to breathe and a little bit of joy that I’ve been deeply missing by being locked away behind a computer and stuck in never-ending meetings. I’ve been thinking that I need to contact a mentor from a past life….I need some supportive advice….how did they transition from being hands on working with fish in provincial enhancement programs…to managing people doing the science that they used to love doing themself. How did they manage to support others in their work and find the joy in their new role while not doing the thing that they loved for so long. How did they maintain a sense of relevance?
Everything is a work in progress I suppose. I hope that it isn’t another year before I can visit the sites beyond my doorstep again, I’m not sure I’ll survive if it is. But who knows what the new fiscal budget is going to throw at us. I guess I’ll find out in the next weeks.
Until then, I’ll appreciate this one series of site visits and cross my fingers that it wasn’t a lucky one-off.