Awwww….shucks… (199/365/2023)

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I got a thing today. It made me feel pretty good.

A few months ago I was supposed to be at a workshop and do a presentation. With everything going on with Gizmo, I couldn’t, so I cancelled.

And then he died, and I just couldn’t bring myself to attend because it sort of felt like “Oh hey, he’s gone, so now it’s convenient and I can come”.

I couldn’t do that to his memory, it felt like I was betraying him if I did.

I felt badly, I know it caused a hole and they weren’t able to find someone to fill it. I’m one who generally says yes to things, so saying no and sticking to it was difficult, but also necessary for my heart.

A few days after the workshop someone sent me an email that said something along the lines of “Congratulations!”

“For what?”

“For being recognized at the workshop!”

Umm. ok….I didn’t know anything about it and assumed he just meant that someone had said something nice about me.

But then a few days later I got a similar email from someone else.

Again…”For what?”

She seemed annoyed that I didn’t know and said I’d been recognized for my contributions to the community program.

Again, I thought that seemed nice.

Then the SEP Director happened to be at Capilano Hatchery one day w while after that and she also said “Congratulations” and gave me a hug.

OK….now I really wanted to know what was going on and dug a little deeper. She said that I every year the Community Involvement Program recognizes one DFO employee for contributions and that this year it was me. I wasn’t there to accept, so she accepted on my behalf and said a few things and told a story about using my office at the hatchery and messing up my magnetic Bucky ball puzzle and not being able to put it back together. She said she’d been put on the spot 🙂 It was kind of funny actually.

Today my gift finally made its way to me. Sandi has been trying to connect with me for a few weeks but….summer….Today she finally tracked me down and stopped by to visit and handed me a paper bag with some tissue. I knew I was getting a mug, I’d assumed it would be a glass mug with a SEP logo. I was wrong. It was a Yeti insulated mug that had been etched.

I’ve won awards in DFO before, but somehow this one means more than the others. A year ago I was on the verge of leaving because I was so unhappy with some significant aspects of my job. A year later and I feel calmer…stressed, sure, but not in the ‘I want to slit my writes or jump off a cliff way’, happier, and I feel like I can breathe again.

This mug means a lot, and I truly appreciate it. I wish I could have been at the workshop to receive it, because I did miss all the amazing people, but it still means a lot to me having received it all this time later.

I don’t really know what I did to deserve this, or the associated recognition, but thank you to those who thought I did. ❤️